Warning: Possible mysoginistic comment. Ladies, feel free to change the genders of the joke in retelling.
A couple were going through a bad patch in their marriage and both had been having flings and affairs that had been discovered by their spouse. Battling to stay together, they both agreed to, at least, sleep in the marital bed every night. However, even that brought its problems.
One morning the wife woke up and told her husband of about her last night's dream:
"I was at an auction for penises. The big ones cost about $1,000 and the tiny ones went for less than $10."
The husband said:
"What about one my size?"
His wife replies:
"Hmmm. That wouldn't even have got a bid!"
and then laughs to herself. Hurt, her husband decides that he wants revenge, so the next morning, he deliberately urinates on his wife's sleeping body. She wakes up in horror and screams loudly.
The husband tries to calm her down and says:
"No, no, it must have been that dream I had last night. I was at an auction for vaginas. The really tight but juicy ones sold for $1,000 and the loose but dry ones were getting about $10."
His wife says:
"What about ones like mine?"
The husband giggles and says:
"Oh, that's where they held the auction! Sorry, I must have pissed myself laughing when I realized!"